A Morning of Fish Tales
by Athena2008
Summary: Daniel gets an early morning phone call from Jack regarding a very disturbing new invention. A little SJ as well.


A/N: I don't know if anyone has seen the commercial for the product described in the story (I'll refrain from using its actual name), but it was occuring to me as I watched the commercial that Jack would be outraged at this violation of the sanctity of his favorite pass time. So, this story is the result (poor Daniel), and if you've read any of my other stories, you know by now that a little Sam and Jack ship is always a must. So here you go! I'd appreciate any feedback. Thanks for reading!

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Dr. Daniel Jackson groaned and turned his head away from his bedside table. He hadn't had a proper night's sleep in over a week. Since his return from England, where he'd been poring over everything that had been left in Merlin's lair at Avalon, Daniel had been occupied with new translations, missions, and Vala's random interruptions.

He'd finally left the base and gone straight to his apartment and his rarely-used bed, only to be woken at 5am to the sound of his phone ringing. He planned to ignore the piercing noise for as long as possible. General Landry had assured him that he would not take it personally if Daniel did not answer his phone for at least the following twelve hours.

It was with that thought that Daniel decided to ignore his phone. Resisting the urge to pick it up and throw it across the room, Daniel covered his ears with his pillow. He expected the caller to hang up after the first few rings but the annoying sound did not stop.

Finally frustrated and slightly curious, Daniel rolled over and picked up the phone. Having not had any coffee yet that morning, he was certainly in no mood to make polite conversation to whoever was interrupting his first good night of sleep, he said harshly, "What?"

"Good morning, Danny boy," came an all too-cheerful voice on the other end.

Daniel groaned again before sitting up properly. "What's going on, Jack?" he asked.

"Were you still sleeping? Shouldn't you have been up since Thursday, working on translating some new rock?" Jack asked, amusement in his voice.

"General Landry gave me the day off, which I was planning on using sleeping," Daniel replied.

"Well, get up. I've got a big problem," Jack said.

"What is it this time?" Daniel asked with a sigh. The last time Jack had called Daniel this early in the morning, he'd needed Daniel's help to elope with Sam.

"Have you seen what's on TV lately?" Jack asked.

"Jack, if you don't get to a point fast, I'm hanging up the phone," Daniel replied.

"There's this new doohickey. Apparently, all you have to do is press a button and it just launches a lure into the water. No more fishing poles. What is this world coming to?" Jack asked, clearly outraged.

"Jack, are you telling me that you're calling at five in the morning to tell me about some new fishing gun?" Daniel asked, amazed that Jack had come up with this new and innovative way to ruin Daniel's day.

"Daniel, how can you take this so calmly?" Jack asked. "This is quite possibly the worst invention ever… invented… and that includes the potato requisition form for the commissary."

"I thought that form was growing on you," Daniel said, chuckling to himself. Then he sighed and asked, "Anyway, what do you want me to do about it?" While he may have normally at least pretended to care, he could not bring himself to sympathize with a man who was this alert so early in the morning.

"It's the principle of the matter. I was hoping for some support," Jack replied.

"Why don't you ask Sam?" Daniel suggested, contemplating hanging up the phone.

There was a pause and then Daniel heard another voice. "He has, Daniel. I'm really sorry. I told him not to call you," Sam said.

In spite of himself, Daniel smiled. Sam had mentioned something about being busy this weekend. And he wasn't going to hold this against her. Her husband was very persistent when it came to fishing. "It's all right, Sam."

Another pause was followed by Jack's voice again. "Come on, Daniel. You have to admit this is outrageous. I mean, what happened to the art of fishing? It's not about catching the fish…. Who cares if this stupid thing works?..."

Daniel, by this point, had decided that he'd been defeated. Getting out of bed, he put the phone on speaker and proceeded to get ready as Jack rambled on about the wonderful world of fishing. Every once in a while, he'd inject a "yeah" or "uh, huh" as he made his way to the kitchen to make coffee.

"So I'm planning on borrowing the Odyssey and taking care of this little problem," Jack concluded.

"Jack, I don't see what the big deal is," Daniel said, smiling to himself. He knew that that would get a rise out of Jack.

"Daniel, what are you saying? This is what I'd call pure evil," Jack said.

"You're equating a fishing gun to the Ori?" Daniel asked.

"Yes!" Jack exclaimed. "Think they had something to do with this?"

Daniel huffed. "Yes, Jack," he said sarcastically. "I'm sure they took time out of the busy galaxy-conquering schedules to come to Earth and plant fishing guns. Maybe it's their newest tactic. Infuriate the world into submission by destroying the art of fishing."

"Exactly!" Jack agreed. "We really need to do something about them," he mused.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that," Daniel said, the sarcastic tone in his voice increasing.

There was the sound of a scuffle on the other end of the line before Sam's voice came through the receiver. "Okay, I think that's enough talk about this fishing gun. You're staying at home today, right?" Sam asked.

"I was planning on it, but since I'm up, I may just go in and finish that translation," Daniel replied.

"No, take the day off," Sam encouraged. "Go see a movie or something."

"Never thought I'd here you say that," Daniel replied, now amused.

"Yeah, well. Bad influence and all," Sam said, also sounding amused.

"How did you get out of hearing all about that stupid fishing gun anyway?" Daniel asked curiously.

"Simple. I told Jack he wasn't getting so much as a kiss until he shut up about it," Sam said, sounding quite pleased with herself.

"Unfortunately, I can't do that," Daniel said.

"I'd hope not," Sam replied; she sounded as if she was trying not to laugh. After she'd composed herself, she added, "I'll talk to him. You just enjoy your day."

"Thanks, Sam," Daniel responded. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow, Daniel," Sam said.

Daniel hung up the phone as he thought about what he could do for the entire day. But his thoughts kept getting interrupted by thoughts of the conversation he'd just had. Although he'd never admit it to Jack, he did have to wonder. _What was the world coming to?_


End file.
